THE ART OF THE DEAL (UPDATED)

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Election 2016, Trump

BRAGGADOCIOUS!: Randy Rainbow Moderates Debate #1

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Braggadocious, Election 2016, Hillary, Mary Poppins, Randy Rainbow, Trump

I had lots of fun dictating this brilliant work of political satire by Randy Rainbow.
I’ve been using it all week as a vocabulary study for my ESL and HS students.
When they hear it for the first time, they think could never understand it, much less be able to repeat it, but after some surprisingly effortless work, most are able to repeat several parts. They especially love the line,
“Ahm.. Are you really gonna vote for this guy?”

——————-BRAGGADOCIOUS———————-
And welcome back to the first presidential debate.
Mr. Trump, let’s get back to what you were saying
about Secretary Clinton’s makeup.
You mentioned she’s been a little heavy on the eyeliner, lately.

“Is that okay? Good. (Sniff)
I want you to be very happy. (Sniff)
It’s very important to me. (Sniff)
But in all fairness to Secretary Clinton; (Sniff)
She’s been doing this for 30 years..” (Sniff)

Do you need a tissue?

“What’s happened to our jobs and our country and our (Sniff) economy generally..
It’s, look, we are (Blow) 20 trillion dollars! (Sniff)We cannot do it any longer.”
“I am very under leverage, I have a great company, I have a tremendous income,
And the reason I say that is not in a braggadocious way, it’s…because…”

Braggadocious? Is that even a word?

“I don’t know. Maybe. Who knows.”

Heeeeee’s
Super callous, fragile, egocentric, braggadocious
Likes to throw big words around and hopes that we all notice.
If he keeps repeating them they might just make him POTUS.
Super careless, fragile ego, extra braggadocious

Ahm.. Are you really gonna vote for this guy?
Oom..Are you really gonna vote for this guy?
Ahm..Are you really gonna vote for this guy?
Uh… Are you really gonna vote for this guy?

He says that he’s the man and thinks he’s got the Midas touch
But does he have a plan to fix the country?

“Not so much.”

And if you’re not convinced by all the hyperbole,
he says shut up! Just buy a stupid hat and vote for me!

He’s super careless, fragile; that’s why Hillary relaxes
This time Bill Clinton might as well sit back and play the saxes.
His wife erased her emails and now Trump wants total access.
Then once hell has frozen over, he’ll release his taxes!

Ahm..Are you really gonna vote for this guy?
Oom..Are you really gonna vote for this guy?
Ahm..Are you really gonna vote for this guy?
Uh..Are you really gonna vote for this guy?

He found a word that sounded smart and used it all day long.
But even Webster’s dictionary said he got it wrong.

So if you’re undecided or you hate the other sex,
Remember in November how he likes to sign his checks..
It’s super sleazy, fabricating, sexist & obnoxious
Even just the thought of voting for him makes me nauseous
If you like America, you’ll keep him out of office.

Superficial, chauvinistic, arrogant & thoughtless

Ahm..Are you really gonna vote for this guy?
Who the hell’s gonna vote for this guy?

Of course you can say it backwards,
Which is…docious braggas centric ego fragi callo stupid.

“Did you ask me a question?”

No. I didn’t say anything.

So, when his words escape him and he hasn’t got a prayer,
He’s feeling kind of dizzy ‘cause he sucks up all that air,

(Sniff)

He’d better keep his guard up, because she might take a swing…

“And you know what else I prepared for? I prepared to be president.
And I think that’s a good thing.”

Wait a minute!
Did you just hand him his ass and quote Martha Stewart?
Yas bitch… Excuse me. I mean, Secretary Bitch.

Super calculated, adolescent, braggadocious

If you hate both nomineesremember he’s the grossest
Meanwhile, look at Jill and Garysipping on Mimosas.

Super callous, fragile, egocentric, braggadocious

“I think I did a good job. (Sniff)”

Super callous, fragile, egocentric, braggadocious

(Sniff)

You need to stop that.

Here’s the vocab study worksheet for the Braggadocious class: