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monde dane

~ My passport is American, my wife is Japanese and my thoughts are undocumented. If you read between the blog lines, who knows what you might learn.

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Category Archives: THE MAGICAL GLASSES

The Magical Glasses

30 Sunday Sep 2007

Posted by danedegenhardt in THE MAGICAL GLASSES, Uncategorized

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Once upon a time there was a curious man from China who wore a magical pair of glasses. Everywhere he looked he saw things other people could not see.

CHAPTER FOUR – SILK AND A SOW’S EAR

(Chapter three)

A bevy of fine feathered peacocks strutting in front of a towering palace. Cheerful sparrows nesting in the ramparts. At the gate a crow lying in a pile of feathers. The sun shinning from above the highest tower, forming a background for a silhouetted eagle in flight.

Captain Li pored over each fine pencil stroke of this amazing paper tapestry.

“Brilliant!  This is a work of patriotic genius!  Look here, the shading around the eagle directs all the light to reach the birds on the ground.”

“It looks like a bird zoo to me, comrade,” his young aide exclaimed.

“You are a peasant, Wang! You don’t see the Chairman’s aura guiding the light to the grateful sparrows?” Captain Li chided his subordinate.  “I suppose you also cannot see the beauty of the officers of the People’s Army in the strong, straight lines of the tall peacocks, or a disgraced comrade in the pathetic pose of the fallen crow?”

“Well, yes.  Now that you mention it, it does remind me of the power of the proletariat, sir,” Wang quickly corrected himself, not wanting to appear unpatriotic as well as uneducated.

“Find out whose work this is and bring him to me immediately,” Captain Li ordered.

“Ah, sir, I’m afraid that’s impossible.”

“‘Impossible’! Are you defying my order?”

“Well, uh, sir, you see, the artist is, is..”

“Is what? Speak up you fool!”

“The truth is, he is being held at a reeducation camp in the countryside.”

“Who the hell sent him there? Bring that moron here and I’ll have him sent to a camp.”

“That might not be such a good idea, sir.  It was Colonel Cho who had the young artist arrested.”

“How do you know that, Wang?”

“I was at the People’s Court last week. Colonel Cho was the officer in charge.  A sergeant brought him that picture.  He too was impressed, but not so favorably as you, sir.”

“Why the hell not? What could he possibly have found offensive?”

“Maybe the Colonel has different artistic tastes, sir.”

“Are you trying to insult me, Wang?”

“Certainly not , sir.  All I know is that he took the paper, looked it over carefully on both sides, and went into a rage, ordering the boy be arrested.”

“Both sides? ” Captain Li turned the paper over, and there he saw a crude sketch of a fat pig chewing on some heart shaped leaves with a meandering circle scribbled around the picture.

“Get the car, Wang.  We are going to headquarters. I will take this directly to General Wu.”

CHAPTER FIVE – PORCINE PATRIOTS

“Colonel, would you please explain to the captain your decision to arrest the author of this scribbling,” General Wu requested, barely able to suppress a yawn.

“Captain Li, do you mean to tell me that your knowledge of our nation’s geography is so poor? Did you not recognize that this pig is eating a cluster of ramie leaves?” Colonel Cho asked with unmistaken condescension.

“Ramie leaves?”

“Yes. The heart shaped leaves that adorn the great land of Hunan, the homeland of our enlightened leader. And for those like you who need extra clues, the treasonous artist drew a clear outline of Hunan Province around this disgusting pig.”

“Well, does that satisfy you captain? This insidious depiction is obviously subversive propaganda suggesting that our great leader is a low life scoundrel fattening himself on the labor of the people. It is only fitting that he should live out the rest of his life tending pigs,” the general concluded.

“Yes, sir, I agree that the picture on the back is offensive and treasonous.  However, with all due respect sir, I would like to point out that the crudeness of the pig drawing strongly suggests it could not possibly be the work of the master who sketched the peacock drawing,” Captain Li persisted.

“Then how do you explain the man’s admission to having penned both the peacocks and the pig?” Colonel Cho countered.

“I am sorry to have troubled you both.  But may I request permission to interrogate the prisoner myself?  I cannot believe that one man could possess both the patriotism that inspired the peacock drawing and the heresy that dictated the pig sketch,”  the junior officer pleaded.

“Why are you making such a fuss over one lousy picture, Captain?” Colonel Cho asked in sincere astonishment.  “The young hooligan who drew them is nothing more than street rabble. Even if he didn’t draw the pig, his confinement serves as an example to other subversives.”

Captain Li saw that his case was weak and that he might even be placing himself in jeopardy, but he made one last plea.

“I beg your pardon, sir.  But in my ten years at the Peoples Art Academy I have rarely seen anything as inspiring as the peacock picture.  Even if we must rehabilitate the artist, the country needs his talents to further the glory of the revolution.”

“Very well,” proclaimed the general, you may see him. But you will be fully responsible for his rehabilitation if you choose to have him released.

“Thank you sir. I will send a report, hopefully with another inspirational sketch attached.”

Colonel Cho dismissed the captain with the last word, “Do not forget the old saying, Captain Li, ‘He who gives wings to the pig must prepare for heavy precipitation.'”

“You made that up,” Captain Li suggested.

“Yes.  But it is you who could make it happen.  Good luck, Captain.”

(To be continued)

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The Magical Glasses

12 Wednesday Sep 2007

Posted by danedegenhardt in THE MAGICAL GLASSES, Uncategorized

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Once upon a time there was a curious man from China who wore a magical pair of glasses. Everywhere he looked he saw things other people could not see

CHAPTER THREE – DUNG SHALL PING

(Chapters One and Two)

Slap, squish, squeal, squat.

The redundant rhythm underscored the futility of the vulgar exercise. Again and again he would slap her backside with his pole, her soft underbelly would squish into the mud, she would squeal and squat deeper into the slimy surface. If only his pole was a little longer and sturdier he might be able to get her to move. But the piglet was determined never to give way to his thrusts.

“Move you slimy pig! Get your bloody ass into gear or I’ll serve you to the whole Virgin Brigade on a spit!” 

Her resistance sent him into a rage. He was a recognized friend of the PLA and she was a worthless pig. He knew if he kept thrusting hard enough, sooner or later he would prevail.

“OK bitch. Here’s one for your bloody Chairman!”

With all the passion of a Marxist martyr, every sinew stiffened, he skillfully aimed his battered pole at her most vulnerable spot and fell on her in an avalanche of  youthful rage.

Suddenly she was up and running. Maybe it was the the force of his rage, the threat of being barbequed or maybe just the mention of the master’s name, but something got her off her ass and into action. For all her stubborn delay, her final submission came all too quickly. With the full weight of his body thrown into the thrust of the pole, her quick jerk upwards sent him sprawling into the wretched mud.

The words “Damn shitty pig” rose from his throat but what came out of his mud caked mouth sounded more like “Dung shall ping!”

He sat up, still feeling the squish of the mud crawling up his ass, and thoughtlessly wiped the filth from his face with the ragged paper stuck inside his mangy shirt. Even without his glasses he could see the errant piglet now suckling her mother’s teat like one of God’s favored creatures.

“Great! She gets the tit and I get the shit!”

Somehow he knew that even with his glasses this disgusting view would not improve.

He muttered, this time coherently, “Finding flowers in the dung isn’t so easy when you’re the one wallowing in it.”

(Chapter four)

The Magical Glasses

05 Wednesday Sep 2007

Posted by danedegenhardt in THE MAGICAL GLASSES, Uncategorized

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Once upon a time there was a curious man from China who wore a magical pair of glasses. Everywhere he looked he saw things other people could not see

CHAPTER TWO – THE VIRGIN BRIGADE

(Chapter one)

The street was now a river of angry patriots. There was no need to run. He couldn’t if he wanted to. All he could do was to let the swift human current carry him along. The horrible part was that his stupid sister delayed him just long enough that when he did get out the door he stepped directly into the midst of the Virgin Brigade, an army of ferocious middle school girls whose slogan was, “Let our hundred flowers bloom for the Great Helmsman but for no other.”

His sister’s banshee cries were nothing compared to the painful shrieks coming from this band of Red vixen. After a few moments the din began to take the shape of words, horrible words that convinced him he had to find a way to get past these raving little witches. With each step they chanted, “Raise every Red flag. Castrate every black swine!”

But when he would edge his shoulder ahead of one “Virgin”, another would whip her head around and thrash his face with her tightly woven braids. The blood was begining to rush to his battered cheeks when he heard a rasping clatter rising above their castration chant.

An authoritative male voice blasted out of a loud speaker, “Move it! Move it! You white boned demons! Make way for the soldiers of the PLA!”

“The cavalry to the rescue! Just like a bourgeois Yankee movie!” he thought almost aloud.

As he was pressed against the wall by the flaming female flesh, the tires of the PLA truck passed within a centimeter of his right foot. He let out a scream, that luckily no one could hear, shouting “Squash the bitches, not my boots, damn it!”

His curse was answered like a prayer. A hairy masculine hand reached down and pulled him up onto the bed of the truck that had nearly crippled him.

“Young comrade, what the hell are you doing in that lair of bleeding bitches?” the hand asked.

“Trying to escape, of course!”

The truck rang with hearty male laughter.

“You’re going to the People’s Court, are you?”

“Yes, of course. I have to…”

“You have to save your sabre. You’ll need it to probe one of those plump piglets when you meet her one on one!”

The truck-load of soldiers exploded in laughter.

“Yes sir, comrade. And when I do, I’ll make that one squeal even louder than the whole Brigade.”

This time the uproar drowned out the emasculating chants of the Virgin Brigade now marching to the rear of the PLA front.

(Chapter Three)

The Magical Glasses

26 Sunday Aug 2007

Posted by danedegenhardt in THE MAGICAL GLASSES, Uncategorized

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Once upon a time there was a curious man from China who wore a magical pair of glasses. Everywhere he looked he saw things other people could not see.

magiglass.jpg
CHAPTER ONE – BLUE PEACOCKS

One day long ago, a curious young boy watched a parade of magnificent azure blue peacocks marching down the narrow street in front of his house.

“Look! Look! Fantastic birds are stirring up clouds of gold dust!” he shouted to his brother and sister in a frighteningly excited voice.

“Big brother, you are seeing things again,” his sister scolded him. “Your ‘peacocks’ are nothing more than soldiers marching to another citizen’s arrest.

“”Yeah! And the dust is not ‘gold’, it’s just plain old street dust,” his little brother chimed in, now confident that they had caught their big brother in another lie.

“No, little fool! Those are royal peacocks. And there, in front is a majestic lion leading them to the palace with his great roars.”

“That, dear Brother, is a motorbike with a terrible loud speaker,” she corrected, “and they are headed to a People’s Court.”

Just then, their mother charged in to see what mischief her noisy children were up to now. After listening to each version of the spectacle, she proudly announced that her eldest son was as right as he was wrong.

“They are grander than royal peacocks, they are our great leader’s Red Guards. The lion is the herald of the People’s Justice, and the gold dust is the aura of joy shed by all the jubilant patriots lining the street.”

Satisfied that his mother had confirmed the truth of his special vision, our young man ran out to join the parade. His ‘Little Red Book’ was tucked tightly into his tunic alongside the old wrapping paper he carried with him everywhere – just in case he saw another glorious vision. He would need to record the sight as he saw it so that he could silence his doubting siblings.

(To be continued – Chapter Two)

BANNER PHOTO DESCRIPTION Plum Blossoms in our front yard in Moriya - 8 March, 2017
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© Dane Degenhardt, Monde Dane, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dane Degenhardt and Monde Dane with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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