President George Bush announced today that the War on Terror was being expanded to include new strategic targets in the Paris suburb of Villiers-Le-Bel. 

In a brief statement issued Tuesday morning during a recess in talks at the Middle East Peace Conference, the president condemned the violence against French citizens and law enforcement officers by urban guerillas, saying the action was “a serious threat to European security”.

“This unprovoked attack against innocent citizens is terrible business,” Bush remarked in a statement to the press from the lobby of the Annapolis Hilton Hotel.

The president’s statement reaffirmed that, “The War on Terror knows no national boundaries, it can raise its ugly head in heart of civilization, and we will not hesitate to respond swiftly and ruthlessly.”

In an indirect communique to the radical international Islamist terrorist movement responsible for the onslaught, Bush warned, “Let the terrorists know, America is prepared to respond with force where ever  and whenever they threaten the peace and security of the free world.” 

Bush went on to pledge his full support to President Sarkozy, specifying that he has ordered Secretary Gates to “dispatch a rapid deployment force to Paris immediately”.

In a separate announcement, the Defence Department reported that The First Armored Brigade in Fort Bragg is presently being deployed for ‘Operation Black Eagle’.  

A spokesman for Homeland Security promised to respond to the immediate needs of the local residents with an airlift shipment of Big Macs and Hostess Cup-Cakes.    

Advertisements